liwanag na gagabay
pagmamahalan magbibigkis
kapit-bisig
hindi padadaig
ilublub
igapos
tatayo
lalaban
alipustahin man ng dayuhan
yurakan ng kapwa kababayan
pilit isisigaw
ipaparamdam
diwang makabansa bitbit pa rin
pagka PILIPINO nasa puso namin
kung sa dunong man salat
kung prinsipyo’t inaamag
buong TAPANG kaming haharap
taas noong lilipad
lahat babatahin
pansariling kaligayahan man ang kapalit
bsta PARA SA PAMILYANG INIIBIG.
isipan ay naglalakbay sa alaala ng nakalipas,
madaming gustong sagutin ngunit sadyang kumakaripas,
kaway ng isang anino gustong isipin na malas.
sa gilid ng kwarto nagmumukmok sa pangungulila,
pait ng kahapon hindi maisara, pilit na bumubukas pa,
sinisilip ng pagkukunwaring saya.
mas domodoble ang hinagpis sa gabing nag-iisa,
hinahanap yakap ng taong nakasama,
iniisip,sumasayaw sa maharot na musika.
dantay ng kamay parang magnetismo,
dinadala sa alapaap, pakiramdam nagbabago,
naigupo muli ng sariling pagkalito.
hanggang kailan huhugutin ang punyal na nakatarak?
nanlalatang katawan pilit pa rin lumalaban,
pag-asa muling pinanghahawakan.
hanggang kailan kakayanin tumawid?
sa makitid at marupok na lubid,
sa daang puno ng hinanakit.
sa matagal na pagkakakulong,
nalanghap ang paglaya,
ngunit pagkampay ng pakpak,
hindi na alam, hindi na tiyak.
paglipad nakalimutan,
kaya sa baba bumabagsak,
ikampay man ng husto,
madaling manghina at lumagapak .
dating lipad na mas mataas pa sa saranggola,
ngayon walang lakas na makuha,
mga kuko nakakapit lang sa sanga,
takot na takot at nag-aalala.
ngunit sasanayin ang sarili,
kailangan maging matapang katulad ng nakakarami,
pag-asa man kahit patay sindi,
yayakapin ang paglaya ng walang pag-aatubili.
mga kapwa ibon minsa’y naiirita,
kanilang kaway nababalewala,
dahil ang tigas ng ulo, pinamumukha,
ayaw makinig kahit pa nadadapa.
nakagapos ang paa sa alaala,
panghihinayang nasa puso pa,
gustong tuldukan at mag-apura,
ngunit nalilito at nanghihina.
isang ibon ang umaaligid,
nakagabay at sa braso daw niya kumapit,
subalit pag-ibig hindi nya makakamit,
dahil kahit kanino ayaw sumandig.
mag-isang babatahin ang lahat,
muli mang malugmok,
tatayo ng kasing tatag,
aahon sa putik, lilipad ng mataas.
bakit hindi ka bumibitaw?
bakit hindi iniiwanan?
sa bawat yapak sa tahanan,
isang bakas ang pinaparamdam,
pag-asa muli mong ikinikintal,
sa larong ikaw ay sanay.
bakit hindi na lang pabayaan?
bakit pilit sinasabi na maunawaan?
maglakad ka ng diretso,
ang paglingon kalimutan ito,
para isang patak ng luha,
ang itatapat lang saiyo.
isa ba pang pagkakataon?
isa pa bang pagkukunyari?
dahan-dahan na gumapang,
maingat na naisakatuparan,
ang plano walang palya,
ngunit ang nasa Itaas nakakakita.
paano nasakop ang sistema?
paano buburahin ang mga alaala?
ang anay nagmumukhang Diyosa,
abot tenga ang ngiti at tawa,
halakhak nakakagimbal,
boses tuksong kumakaway.
ilang beses kailangan magbilang?
isa, dalawa tatlo o limang segundo?
panlilinlang gawa ng isang sadista,
isip pinasok ng makasariling pantasya,
puso nalusaw, nadaya at namanipula,
sa harot ng sayaw ng Magdalena.
latak itong maituturing,
tira-tira kung tawagin,
latak na kikitil,
sa kapwa salarin.
Hay,buhay tlaga!
Lagi nlang akong nalilito sa mga bagay bagay sa mundo.
may mga sitwasyon na pinagdesisyunan ko na
ngunit makalipas ang isang linggo confused na naman
parang gustong ayaw, masayang malungkot, na gustong maalala & malimot
basta ang gulo
back to basic na naman
mag-iisip, manghihinayang, maiinis
madedepress, magagalit, magseselfpity
sakit ko na yata ito
iyon bang parang sirang plaka daw
paulit-ulit, parepareho, di nagbabago
minsan, naisip ko nga kailan kaya ako lalaya?
sa sulirananin, sa kasalanan, sa nakaraan
madami namang sagot o solusyon
pero bakit napakahirap makita ang tama?
wala bang shortcut?
iyong kapag may problema may solusyon agad
iyong di na kailangan dumaan sa katakot takot na trial & error
dapat diretso tama
iyong tipong di aq masasaktan & magsisisi
kumbaga everything is perfect
pero di ba wala namang perpekto?
ngunit bakit kailangan natoin himayin ang mga kilos
ang buong pagkatao, lahat ng aspeto
eh, wala naman palang perpekto
may pa eti-etiquette pa tayo
na papraning na yata ako
akala ko bagay lang ang plastik
hindi pala, pati tao plastik na rin…retokada
may tupperware, orocan & simpleng cellophane
alin kaya ako dun? bahala na!
may pagkakataon naman dialoque cross my heart hope to die
promised, i swear!
pero lintek yan kumurap lang ako
sumipsip ang linta, makakaubos ng dugo, kapit tuko
pero ayaw talaga paawat, pumapapel, umeeksena
kahit cut na go-on pa rin
ang iba naman mala octopus, ang daming galamay
may pagkabampira at manananggal
tinatanggal ang kredibilidad & reputasyon ng ibang tao
sana maskara ang hinubad
ipakita ang patas, humusga ayon sa batas
pero hindi pa rin nakuntento, naging ganid, talamak
lahat inaring kanya pati pribelihiyo kanya lang
hindi patitibag, kahit dumaan ang pison, aatras lang parang may superpower
abrakadabra! ala david blaine
may trapo, may corrupt, may madyikero, may mandaraya & gahaman
teka, nakita ko si juan dela cruz
naghihirap, naghihikahos,namamalimos
si Tatang nagalit, nakapagmura
letseng buhay ‘to, kara cruz n ang laro sa gobyerno
uso na daw ang balimbingan, gamitan, & turuan
sa pula o sa puti
ang masaklap lahat ginamit pati aq nagpapagamit
propaganda, pulitika
may napanood nga ako sa tv may isiniwalat na baho si anu
sa una, maniniwala na sana ako
wait, sablay pa rin, publicity lang pala iyon, gusto lang mag artista
pero ‘tol, carry niya ang drama
pati ang nasa pinilikang tabing nakisawsaw na rin
ang gulo, mababaliw na yata ako
pati sagradong institusyon nasakop na rin
nakigulo na rin ang mga religious group
nakisunod sa uso, rally dito welga doon
hay, mas lalong gumulo ang isip ko
hindi ko na alam ang tama & totoo
siguro iisa nalang natitirang tunay sa pagkatao ko
ako ay isang Pilipino!
What should i do? I must confess my life is like a boat. There’s no definite direction, i’m just hanging & floating. I’m tired of this kind of scenario but it is the sentimentality in which i’m not ashemed. I value everything but satisfaction of innerself is what i’m longing. Where can i find the true meaning of happiness and contentment? I knew then that my mind could be a positive instrument of happiness & bridging over the dark. But why oftentimes there is a force stopping me to go further more. Maybe i’m not living in the world of reality. Who can justify my behavior if I myself is find it very much conflicting, too complicated on its own.
I live too fast because i don’t know where I am going so i hurry to get there but when i already there i really don’t know what i’m doing. Is it worth it? I can’t understand the meaning of truthful “yes”. I met storm that damaged my being, i’ve encountered hurricane that buried my dreams. When i’m beginning to evaluate myself,earthquake test the limit of my soul. I’ve been trapped between truth & lies, worst & best even heaven & hell. I can’t choose between good & bad. I saw demons, I saw angels that’s why my boat never stop but never going anywhere. I saw the half light, i knew half truth that’s the courage why i keep on going. I’m in the scene of 50/50. As my boat sailed on i knew exactly what to do but unexpected waves came. I’m not ready to face it. I’m not willing to let it go at the same time i can’t stand firm & just sail-on. As i see the light, i want to follow but as i tried it ’s more diming, very far. When i see darkness its tempting & easy to walk on but still the force keep on blocking. The waves, the air & the water talk to me.” Why? Why you won’t let go?” Out of these shaken world which nobody around me, i’m scared!
Sounds stupid, sounds crazy. I want to scape from this boat & survive from from storm. HOw? I don’t know how to swim. I don’t like to die without trying. I have two option: stay on my boat wait ’till the time come or try to move-on facing life & death. I can’t go on using same paddle & i can’t go back sailing using the same rout, the shark might kill me. I have these choice GO or NOT. i chose the OR because it’s more safer but OR means nothing, useless.
Now, my boat is sinking! Someone must rescue me. Wait, someone is coming…I know who? I can’t look straight into His eyes because i’m a sinner, a prodigal daughter. He is lending with open arms but still i can’t reach Him. I want to go with Him. Let me go… I heard Him saying “You’re not going anywhere, have faith my child. You can overcome everything, come, follow me“
Everyone of us have the right & duties in ourselves, to others, & to our nation. We deserve to live according to our will, according to the laws of humanity, and most especially according to the laws of Almighty. The rights & resources are equally given to us. It’s up to us how should we deal in different obstacles & tribulations that might block our way.
The largest part of freedom is making wise & ethical decisions. the ethic of it depends in our willingness and commitment in respecting others right. Today we are facing the particular challenge of freedom; WAR. War darken the future of our generation, because of it we are facing life & death with uncertainties. Terrrorist & bandits, these people have mentalities that we can’t relate. They fight for they called freedom but with hidden agenda and vested interst. Our government officials uses power to corrupt. They don’t portayed as in position of authority and lack of concern in the policies they implement. Preserve our democracy, depend our freedom, we almost hear everyday in the streets & in the news. what’s really the truth? Perhaps they are the first one who abuses our democracy. We are made of complex thoughts, feelings & actions but still we can make this world a better place, we can show our concerned in our fellow citizen we care & we can assume the role of leadership by making ourselves count. We must prepared to live with principles not in egoism & pride. We must accept readily & react promptly to all the facts not only to those we want to hear but what is right to do. We should avoid deflecting criticism by making it as a personal glimpse. Fighting for freedom means fighting for truth and the truth will set us free, to be a better individual with dignity intact.
Sometimes we are misguided by strange emotion REVENGE. Life is freedom of choice. Knowing the right words by respecting others feeling is the basic part of freedom..We may think very simple but it’s very hard to do because of our ability to reason out and know by nature. If we want liberty we should lead the way. It originates in little things. How many heroes fought and died for our liberty? They offered us safety, security & peace. But peace begins with self form of disipline, sincerity in different form of hardship. Cooperation is the most powerful tool in attaining our goal.
Too often we blame the numbers of failure to others especially in politics but we must accept the fact that sometimes we just took for granted the policies & rules which they want to implement. We don’t take enough time & we just keep the distance by not participating in the issue. We easilly develop the habit of self denial & we refuse to join in human brotherhood.
For me, freedom could be define as loyalty & devotion behind the private self. The joy of living comes from freedom & freedom brings hope. Hopefully we must never stop teaching the young generation with the spirit of love, respect & perseverance so that they may learn to appreciate the paece we constantly fight for, for freedom comes only from knowledge & honest understanding.
